Thursday, December 7

Mama Kat Thursday: The Golden Flow Gag

For me, the first Thursday of every Monday is typically a "lunch out" day for my Yoga class at a Mexican restaurant next door.
At one of those lunch outs, I got to talking with "Bob," across the table, a man of contemporary age with me.
(He and his wife both attend the Yoga class.)

Come to find out, he and I were both active duty in the Air Force at the same time, back in the mid 1970's.
I was an enlisted medic and he was a pilot. He's a retired Colonel now, but back then, he'd was probably just a young Lieutenant or Captain. I told him I'd been a medic and that's what inspired him to tell me hilarious story about "Golden Flow."

Now "Golden Flow," is what we used to call drug urinalysis back in the 70's. It was random urinalysis testing. You'd get a message to show up at the hospital lab on a certain date and time, then you'd go, be handed a plastic specimen cup, then get in line to go one by one into the  bathroom and fill the cup. Alone. Then we'd bring the cup back out and drop it off to be checked in by a lab tech.
Simple.
Well, Bob said he and bunch of his fellow pilots got the Golden Flow call and one of them came up with the bright idea of getting ahold of a urine specimen cup  in advance, then filling it with beer and sneaking it into Golden Flow with it hidden in his uniform.
Bob said when they arrived at hospital lab and his buddy was handed a fresh specimen cup, he simply went into the bathroom, ditched the fresh cup, pulled out the beer-filled one, then walked out with it in hand.Then he walked out with it. 
Bob said there was a young female enlisted medic sitting a the specimen table receiving the filled cups, checking them in, and his buddy approached her table, made like he was going to place his specimen cup down, then abruptly, said, "Nope," opened it and swigged it all down.
The poor girl nearly passed out in horror!
Bob said he and his buddies got a good laugh out of it.
I got a good giggle out of the story, too, being a medic and remembering Golden Flow quite well.

Such tom-foolery can't be gotten away with nowadays, since urinalysis participants have to have a medical chaperone accompany them into the bathroom to assure quality control.
No switching for beer now.
*****
What was the last story someone told you that gave you a laugh?


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